We are a worthless start-up operating in stealth mode out of an undisclosed warehouse location in downtown Brooklyn. We are so secretive that no one will ever know what we are developing, ever.

On a recent Monday morning, Olga Ocon, an employment recruiter in Los Altos, Calif., decided to sift through a folder containing e-mails identified as spam. Tucked away among 756 ads for Viagra, cellphones and loan-refinancing offers, which were all set to be deleted after a few days, were eight resumes.

I ran for President in 2000. My campaign was destined to be a miserable failure until I used a whispering campaign of lies in the South Carolina Presidential Primary organized by my chief political strategist, Karl Rove, to destroy genuine war hero and fellow Republican John McCain, claiming he had fathered an illegitimate negro child was emotionally unstable due to his torture as a POW in Vietnam and a possible brainwashed Manchurian Candidate.